What are you teaching?

I'm teaching myself to be calm in a crashing airplane.  I had a dream this morning of hanging out and being cool in a flying space cruiser with a multitude of people around me in common union. All of the sudden the foundation shakes and we all get nervous as the plane goes diving toward the ground and we go crashing into the earth. As we hit debris goes everywhere but miraculously the foundation of the plane in held together but ultimately it is destroyed. I unbuckle from the seat and dust myself off and we walk away in a parade through a dump ridden ruined land calmly wandering in a daze not knowing where we are or where we are going..... but we keep going somehow.

What can I do being part of a crashing institution? The complexity of the situation is too much to go into it all in the limited time I have here at lunch. This morning I found out that the school loans have been threatened with the lender crisis and also they are raising tuition again because enrollment continues to be down. We are all in the last three weeks of the quarter spinning in a sea of reductionistic information while chasing the dream of one day becoming a "good doctor" so that we can be of service to people.

Mean while I keep checking into my heart and finding new aches and pains.  The practice is to be in metta with the sensations in my chest and today it brings a hard tight dark dense painful ball that has been hanging out there for the last four hours after sitting through the news and connecting with some friends that I have not been in touch with for awhile who are struggling too.

Just in!!! I was about ready to let go of these crashing thoughts when my roommate just texts me that his car just died.  It one of those days I guess.....