There have been many, and as I conflate the capacity for the love of truth and my inherent fallibility I begin to see through my failed expectations. I can only sit and wonder how the parlay has fallen and given way to a transformative inner struggle of loosening my stubborn rigid thinking.

I remember a couple months ago when I first met this horse named Echo I did not think that a scruffy old animal with Addison's disease would be much for riding. As we cleaned him up, picked his hoofs, and messaged his neck I began to see renewed life come through. We got the saddles ready. One was a western saddle and the other was one specially made for Jackelyn. It has a special back plate to hold up her spine and rigid body. She has cerebral palsy and it seems so painful for her to be on Echo but her Dad keeps bringing her back for her weekly ride. Even though Jackelyn doesn't speak much there must be some inner appreciation of being up on that animal with her father and I by her side.

I am reminded of the quote, "we are the echos of the future" and how repeated tolerance of fear and hurt brings ripples of compassion.  It's natural for us to have pain and to learn how to become loose with our own suffering and the suffering of others. And what a blessing it becomes when caring people lend a little support for one another.

That certain something that brings us to together jamming on the porch. We sit dusty from the day and have a cold drink while our cloths still smell of sweat and horses. Oh how the comfort of the chairs bring such relief to those sore old legs and uphold our slumber in the setting sun.  We bring bright smiles, full hearts, and kindness in sharing time in loving spaces with people that care about each other. And the sacredness of this earth.

This is similar to considering the question, does form follow function or does function follow form? Both are part of the paradoxical nature of the self-realization process where the home or the body becomes the primary vehicle for gaining awareness.  The somatic body and the conduit of the spine become a emotional subsystem that flows so elegantly from the cortical, pineal, pituitary, limbic, brain stem, meningeal channel, providing the whole physiological, psychic, spiritual interplay of our energy field mandala expression.

After many years of doing mindfulness practice on the physical body I find so much is stored there to be remembered and transcended. So many things move through my field of experience with the simple unfolding of the recognition of the seamless cognition of my minds eye, embodied. There becomes shifts, adaptation, growth, learning over time. Anais Nin says, "If one changes internally, one should not continue to live with the same objects. They reflect one's mind and psyche of yesterday. I throw away what has no dynamic, living use. I keep nothing to remind me of the passage of time, deterioration, loss, shriveling."

A shift in perspective is here for us at this very moment but some of us don't even realize that we are stuck or why?  We truly are stuck and we want out of the polarities and rhythms. And so begins the stages of healing to where hopefully we may one day experience ascension, decension and the vast interconnection of a loving community and Kosmos.

I seem to slip into contemplative thought often because the mind becomes so curious with reflective consideration. And I marvel at the time between thoughts when the clear awareness glows from my very nature.  It seems so very normal to me to slow down every once in awhile through out my day and open up to a broader view of things.

Like how did my loving friend pop in my mind just before she called?  Its like W.S. Merwin said, "We are the echo of the future." 

I value exploring the mystery of form beyond words and I am at awe with Noesis, where pure awareness yields to the arising of consciousness. Some interesting echos of miraculous collective intelligent imprints come though the mind cloud sometimes. Its as if I become immersed in wanderous serendipity, and the simple becomes natural fulfillment.

Forgiveness has been difficult for me because it usually means working with the reconciliation of a fault or perceived flaw by making up an excuse for a particular action that I find bothersome.  And really, what becomes my thoughts and projections by excusing anyway? I prefer using acceptance over forgiveness which seems to move me more toward the truth of my awareness of situations. With acceptance the foundation of trust comes through as a posed to rejection, and I can begin to step into the sempiternal stream of deep compassionate understanding. 

We all learn along the way how our presence affects others and becomes the shared interaction of being normal. Whether it becomes the spectrum of electomagnetic photon beams, emotional shakti energy, kundalini, and the various passions in our co-mingling; we all have similar capacities for sensitive awareness. 

Some people certainly have developed an attuned empathic ability that may become hypersensitive. I know a number people like this and they typically have difficulty just staying within themselves and their own true nature. And we all can choose who we want to be around to certain extent.

And then there is the mysterious Selfless Insight...As the foundations of mindfulness becomes one with the wholistic space that seems beyond time and becomes the remarkable suchness. Something deeper that comes through in the opening of the moment.  In the freedom of the vastness of the mind, heart and belly. Quite lovely when we can just naturally rest in the authenticity of what propels our souls allocentric sempiternity.

I tend to conflate my perspective of time with the belief that relativity can give way to the freshness of curiosity of how things are united in our moment to moment interactions.  Its interesting how the Generations are coming together to create our current destiny. Like health reform and the shifting our perspective on what it means to be healthy to face our own mortality.

A perspective from Stephen Levine,

Bogged down in life,
in sickness and in health
in death do us part,
we become easy to recognize
and unreal, so much of our selves
forgetting what we set out to do.

In the mysterious transformation of new to old the light shines on what it means to become real. To know and not know myself reminds me that there is much to remember and so much more to learn. And the natural interaction with time becomes the journey with the inborn intelligence. 

Another from Levine,

Some see grace as their destination,
others as their process. Both however
often share the trap of wanting
to "go faster than grace."

As I learn to care for myself and others along with this process I seem called to allow in the continual novelty of grace. Like not trying so hard sometimes and being steadfast with novel serendipity. Or being with the silence between breaths, the excitement of laughter, the tears of joy, and the continual reconnection of the intimacy with my Self in relation to the inherent wisdom of people that are important to me. 

Here's a link to a really great Dharma talk by Howard Cohn's

At the Still Point of the Turning World  - T.S. Elliot

I like it best when the spectrum of light gives way to the mystery and brings a vast steadiness that unites me in the grace of salvation. Where I can rest easy and close my eyes and drift away in the tranquility that is beyond the dead of night; for the eternal out breath is never ending, and the bottomless pause seems so sweet as I drift between the living and the dreaming.

Sometimes its so effortless that its like Durga herself is carrying me along in her arms, and gone are the nightmares of the unknown ghouls that stir my restful slumber. Its such a triumph it seems to quite the mind around the vicious terrible things that bring fear in the heart, with all the wrath of wanting what I do not want, and the exhaustion of going wild with passion. I cherish the times when things can slow down a little, so to allow in the One that seems so gentle and loving. What a supreme power it becomes to finally call out mercy to the day and to the loneliness.  Its like meeting that true friend where I can finally be still and be completely alone more easily. I somehow begin to go along with the mysteries of the Universe instead of resisting them. What is there to fight anyway?

A part of me still knows what is right but the clinging mind doesn't have to bring wrath into the equation unless completely necessary. Like when I tame that pesky dog brain when it barks at the full moon.

And really, being the dark knight doesn't mean that I carry that full emptiness all the time. Its just the groundless place to come back to and remember where all radiance of the elements shine through. I know also that the sun is sure to rise once again and I will be faced with more of my armor in the light. To give love